Day 78

You do remember what Sundays are like, right? This should be old hat for many of you now. Sleep in, run, office at noon, out as soon as I can, and relax the rest of the day. You should also recall that Sundays are often tough because of all the time to "think" and "ponder" and "miss home." Today went pretty good, actually. Was I consumed in my mind by home...yep. Was that a bad thing? I don't think so. If I'm going to be consumed by something in my spare time, why would I want anything else? So I did get 8 hours of sleep and headed out for a run. Only 1 1/2 miles into my run in the very hot sun, I felt really sick...like puking sick. I was sweating a lot (never happens in this extremely low humidity area) and just felt like I could pass out at any time. Warning signs received! I turned around and headed back. Once back, I took a shower and fell on my bed...asleep. About an hour later I woke up and headed on in to the office. I stayed busy while there and just before I left, two awesome care packages showed up. More nuts and dried fruits than you've ever seen!!! Thank you so much to those who sent them. You really hit it out of the park! Perfect munchies! Thanks for the soap, too. :-) Afterwards, I headed on down to Green Beans for my favorite iced drink then headed back to my side of the base.  Oh yea, I got about 10min with my girls before leaving the office. I really needed to hear their voices today. It was awesome and I got to hear about Scarecrow's visit by the Tooth Fairy. $1.25!!!

Back on my side of the base, I was consumed by watching some friends finishing the Western States 100 mile race. A few fast runners from my neck of the woods were representing us quite well to all those westerners in California! A bit later, my mind was back on home, specifically Dorothy. I seriously thought about her all day long. She's had some bumpy days lately and my heart strings have been tied to hers...stressed, but not breaking. I just missed her so bad today. So then I Googled "poetry rules." Are there any? Not really. Well, I'm not poet so I'm warning you now about what I wrote down below. It doesn't flow that well, it follows no rules, but it's what I was thinking and therefore wrote. It's from me...to her. After I wrote it, it was around 7:40pm and I hadn't eaten yet so I headed on down to the galley. En route to the galley, I walked by the chapel. There are many, many chapels on this base but this one is in my compound. The praise band was inside practicing and it was my kind of music. Hmmm...if I eat now, it'll be perfect timing for the 8pm start. Coincidence? So I did that. I headed on in at 8pm and surprisingly, a good deal of people were there. Let me paint the picture for you: Imagine a "M*A*S*H"-like green Army tent and inside were a bunch of pews made of 2x4, 2x6's, and plywood. A sheet of plywood, painted white, was the "screen" for the projector and microphones were set up for the band along with a few guitars, a sax, and a drum set. Outside, a painted-white wooden steeple marked the entry. After a few contemporary worship songs, the Army chaplain gave the sermon...and it was good...really good. On the way out, I glanced at the weekly schedule: 8pm Wednesdays are prayer/discussion meetings, 8pm Friday is Bible study, and 8pm is Sunday worship. I may try some of these out and try and make Sunday worship routine...like it is back home. One thing the chaplain said tonight caught my attention: out here, it's easy for us (service-members) to forget who we are...to take on characteristics/habits of others...and to possibly do/say things we would never do at home. Basically, we tend to lose ourselves and just like the camouflage we wear, we morph into everything around us. It's important for us to stay true to who we truly are and not let that happen. 

So here is what I wrote...I simply named it "Us." Again, it's raw and imperfect...

Us.

It was the 5th grade

when I first met you

my dad got a new job

that moved us near

I often think about being a kid

I don't remember much of it

Some things really stick out

But most is such a blur

Bowling, trophies, t-ball, 

Pulling my brother into the pool

Stitches in his head, my fault

Today his scar remains

Fetching tennis balls at the racket club

My best friend, Eric, we'd be truck drivers

My name changing from Nicky to Nick

And so I moved close to you

Your dad taught in the 6th grade

My teacher was not he

I wrote on signs how I loved girls

But never did they notice

I don't remember how we became close

I'm sure you remember, though

It is probably a good story

That I want to hear some time

As we entered the days of high school

We spent so much time together

Always good friends but nothing more

I asked, I begged, I gave an ultimatum

Through the pine trees I came to your window

Just wanting to see you all the time

Your dad was just down the hall

Which kept me outside where I belonged

My country called and we said goodbye

Still nothing more than friends

I loved you deeply but still I went

To the Navy, goodbye, and so long

It wasn't long after that

When we realized being apart was not OK

It was confirmation to the both of us

We were meant to be together forever

It was only about a year later

We walked down the aisle back home

I packed you up and moved you away

From family and friends, so long

A Navy wife, you hate that term

But you stuck with me all along

I went to sea, you went to school

We were a team, though, and persevered

Ten years of active duty

Our education finished and done

Our first child is born, she's a beauty

We head out west with so much unknown

Can we do this? Be out of the Navy?

What will I do? Will I succeed?

Can I support my family or be a failure?

Oh my, I was terrified, that's for sure

It didn't last long out west

We returned home to Ohio in only a year

We weren't really sure where the road led

I still wondered what I was supposed to do in life

Our 2nd daughter was born at that time

She was beautiful just like the first

Our lives changed, just like they say

Today, I am thankful and that's for sure

A restaurant began, then cars I sold

I still didn't know what to be

You kept on charging in your own career

Successful at everything you did

Then investments and insurance

Consumed my every day

Living on commission, it stressed me out

And I missed serving my U.S. of A.

We talked about the options

Of rejoining my Navy from before

We were in a time of war now

Eyes open we knew the path, for sure

Married now, approaching 20 years

We have been there, done that, and more

Yet no distance can touch our teamwork

And love we have for each other

I love you today, no less than yesterday

I miss you, I need you, you consume my every thought

Someday, I am convinced, 

We will hold each other again

I respect you, I admire you

You are an incredible human being

Doing everything and anything

To keep it all together

Forget the naysayers

For they do not know

What kind of team we are together

And stick together to and fro

Stick to what's important

Our family and our love

Do not give a moment 

To those who do not know

For we know the love we have for each other

Our commitment till death do us part

No one, no body, no outside force

Can pull us apart and kill our love

Hand in hand, we walk together

Down our path, hand in hand

Us..our love...our dedication

Forever, unbreakable, till the end.

This portrait hangs in our living room in "Kansas." Yes, that's us, Tin Man, and Scarecrow. Still anonymous, though! :-)

Goodnight, everyone.