Today is one of those days where I really don't want to write about. To date, it was the worst. It wasn't because of any certain event, although a verbal altercation did not help matters en route to the office this morning. It was simply the cascading effect of missing Dorothy and the girls. I grossly underestimated how strong I'd be out here. As a point of reference, I thought back to the 90s when I was on active duty and went to sea. We were young, Dorothy was in school, and we had no kids. Today, we've been married nearly 19 years and I've been a dad for over 10. It's 10 times harder than I expected and my "armor" is weak. I really feel that I put my desire to serve my country again (after a 6 year hiatus) ahead of my family. I just miss them so much that it's breaking me in two and every day seems like an eternity. I know I need to buckle down, toughen up, and charge through. Yea, I know that. However, it's a whole lot easier said than done.
I did find a few things to be happy about at the end of the day. Two care packages arrived with some really great things. So thankful for them...THANK YOU. I also spoke to my deployment specialist back in the States who connected me with my relief...another Navy officer. While still far in the distance, connecting with this person is a light, although quite faint, at the end of the tunnel. Some actual penciled in dates on the calendar. The moon appeared again tonight, too. Only 2.7% of it, but it's a start. I'm heading to bed.
Goodnight, everyone.
First, 2.7% is better than no Mr. Moon! Secondly don't be too hard on yourself. You are tougher than the millions of Americans who sit comfortably at home with no thoughts of putting their country first. You have stepped up when others wouldn't. You are an American hero and inspire all those you come into contact with. Even 7000-8000 miles away! Because of you so many are flying the flag higher and prouder than ever. Because of you many are realizing how lucky we are to be Americans. Because of you many will never see this country in the same light! All because of you! Continue to write and post your thoughts. You may be feeling alone but we are virtually connected at ALL times...just a key strike away!!!!
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