Day 126

Alright, I've had about 3 straight days of funk so let's mix it up tonight. I'm just going to throw some positive things out from today and wrap today up with a little life lesson. I think I need to get over myself and get my head screwed on right. It's threads are certainly crossed right now.

First...the way I woke up...it was priceless. First, I hit the snooze on my iPhone at 5:30am and fell back asleep. I also forgot to put "Do Not Disturb" on my Skype while I slept. Thank goodness, too, because my girls stayed at my parents and they were calling me. Tin Man told my mom "Dad gets up at 5:30am his time so I know he's awake." It was beyond perfect to get a wake up call from my girls.  Priceless doesn't seem to measure up...it was better than that. Like I could to Dorothy, I could just stare at them and say nothing. I just want to burn their images into my mind and remember them. Dangit, I miss them so much! The day in the office was not so positive so we'll just skip right over that. After lunch, another care package showed up from my middle brother. Inside were two boxes of Kashi cereal...the new "Toasted Berry Crumble" which is unbelievable!!! Good timing, too, as maybe two days of cereal were left. Also inside were some Caramel Iced VIA packets from Starbucks and some lemonade powder mixes that I also love. Super sweet! As the day wore on, I stared at the clock just waiting for an e-mail from Dorothy saying she was awake and I could call. I really just wanted to hear her soothing morning voice and hear about her Friday in New York City where she is visiting. We had a great chat and said our goodbyes. Afterwards, I called my brother to thank him for the care package and chat for awhile.

One thing he asked me stuck with me. He asked about what I thought about our presence here in the country and the lasting impact. I will admit...that answer is different than it was on Day 30 when I arrived here. "Winning the hearts and minds of the Afghan people" and helping to "equip them and train them to take their country back" are things heard often. However, seeing so many flag-draped coffins here at my base has taken its toll on me and my confidence level has certainly diminished. This country supplies over 85% of the world's poppy which is used to make heroin. That is a BIG business and fuels the enemy. Plenty of money for weapons and training the bad guys. The Afghan people, on the other hand, are very simple, living far below poverty, and have extremely little. Remove us from the country and I think it's a debate as to what will happen. Can they truly take their country back and not be overrun by the Taliban again? Without us? I'm only throwing that out there for discussion right now...I'm not making a statement. I just hope the death and sacrifice of so many of our country's heroes is not in vain. That really gets to me when I think about it. We'll know eventually, but for now, history is being written.

Tonight, the dynamics of things going on in the office was really eating at me. I could feel the stress building throughout my body and did not want to go to bed feeling the way I felt. I just had to talk to one of them. The senior officer wouldn't return my two requests to speak and refused to answer his phone. So, I called the next one down and had a lengthy discussion outside about it. It had to be confronted, laid out there, and worked through. I think we did and I'm very glad I took the initiative to make things right. Of course, he didn't think it was "that big of a deal" but it was eating me alive. Afterwards, I popped some popcorn and brewed some full leaf Passion tea from my sister-in-law...oh so good!!! So good I had to take a picture of it! It's the kind of tea that's so good all by itself and nothing needs added to it. Rocky 2 is on tonight, too. With that, friends...Day 126 has come to an end and a very unplugged day awaits tomorrow. I'm not setting the alarm and will just head into the office whenever I wake up, spend a few hours there, then get out of there.  For now...it's bedtime. I think I'll fall asleep to some of Kenny Chesney's classics tonight.

Goodnight, everyone.